They really do!
Can you believe it? I mean, they're mythical, magical creatures of peace and beauty, but they have horns? I don't know where you're from, but where I'm not from horns are made for goring people.
Buffaloes have horns, just sayin':
Replace the word buffalo with unicorn (and the picture too, of course, otherwise it would make no sense!), and makes you think. I'm not saying anything bad about unicorns, just that it makes you think!
But, unicorns, seriously, what's up with the horns? I mean, I get that you have them--that's what this entire blog post is about, doy--I'm just like, what for? You know? It seems like a mixed message. Peace, love, and a huge effing gore-stick?!
Or are you saying they're just there for self defense? I get that a unicorn without its horn is basically just a horse, and horses have been tamed and used and ridden by people for a long time (like 100 years at least I bet). So, yeah, maybe you need a horn to keep people from riding you... but it's not like most of us have even ever SEEN one of you though!
But aren't you magic also? Oh, your magic is in your horn? That seems a bit convenient... kind of like how a ganster's cred and juice (that's a term we used back in the 90's) is in their gun, right? But yeah, guns also don't kill people necessarily, but people kill people, bad people, killers, usually! I get it, horns don't kill people, but do unicorns? I'm not saying anything, just makes you think, that's all!Oh, hrm, maybe it's like this. Your magic is in your horn, because it's the most convenient place since you don't have hands or arms, and your head is the most moveable part of your body. HEAR ME OUT! And magic, horn... movement... because your horn is like a magic wand! And one that can't be dropped or stolen... oh, wait, it can be stolen--CUT OFF!--and THAT is why you need your magic wand to be a sharp horn, so if someone does try to cut it off you CAN gore them!
Phew, now it makes more sense. For a minute I was thinking unicorns were really just kind of mean and like stabbing things. But thankfully it is all just self defense and unicorns are still the bestest ever! YAY!
UNICORN HUGGLES!!!
